Mama C-ta: April 2005

There's nothing stronger than a mother's love

Yes, I'm writing again but I forgot to tell you (whoever you are) about this. When I was doing my Glucose test there was a very squirly guy waiting. I was really looking him over. He was probably early 30's, possibly late 20's. But he was wearing a fanny pack, he had this greasy, shaggy, perm-like hair, silly glasses and he just looked very odd. In my previous non-mom life I would have been laughing at him inside of my head (mainly because of the fanny pack). But I just kept staring at him and thinking that if this was my son, I would love him more than anyone could love and I would think he was the best, most handsome, coolest man in the world. Now that is some strong love.

Bunch 'o Mish-Mash

Boy hectic city at work, messin’ with my blogging time and I don’t like that!

Yesterday we found out our great friends, Wendy and John, who are expecting their first child together, will be having a little girl. We’re very excited especially since our little boy will have a playmate so close in age. She’ll be due a couple months after our boy on September 16th (which is kind of freaky since that is also John’s first daughter’s birth date. Weird!) But we’re very, very happy for them!

I have been loving the baby’s movement these days. I think comparatively speaking (compared to what? not sure since he’s my first but from what I hear) he’s generally a little mellow guy. But it’s advanced from kicking and thumping to actual pushing where you can feel body parts. I can’t yet distinguish what parts I’m feeling. I was telling some ladies at work (one who is brand new) and I said something about me thinking it’s his head because it’s round and hard. Well the new lady said kind of crappy “It’s not his head, it’s his butt.” What?!? I don’t like your tone and A. I didn’t realize you had ultrasound eyes and can tell me what position my baby is in and B. Your new so SHUT UP. I’m sure I can be totally wrong, there isn’t a doubt in my mind about that but seriously she didn’t have to act like she knew exactly what part I was feeling 2 days ago. I did notice that his feet (or some body part because I obviously am an idiot and don’t know the right parts) were pushing up very close, just about under my ribs. So I’m assuming this is when the babies start to hang out in your rib cage as I hear so much about and how uncomfortable that can be. That’s OK, I needed a new pain/symptom, I was feeling a little too healthy.

Actually I have been getting little cramps that come and go. At first I assumed they were Braxton Hicks but then I realized that my uterus wasn’t getting rock hard like I’ve noticed during an actual Braxton. And it feels more menstrual-y. I know this can be a sign of pre-term labor but I AM NOT CALLING MY DOCTOR! I’ve only noticed it for a couple of days and before I call and get rushed to Labor and Delivery I’m going to keep monitoring them. I’m sure knowing me it’s just gas or maybe even a figment of my imagination. I started wondering just how many times my overactive mind and overcautious doctors will send me to Labor and Delivery before I actually go into labor for real.

Well we’re off to Niagara Falls tomorrow so you won’t be hearing from me until Monday. And hopefully I don’t come back to a nightmare at work and will have time to write (what else would I come back to??)! Have a dandy weekend!

Good news or Bad news?

Actually it’s all good news, yeah! I finally got my Glucose Tolerance blood work results (after much harassing of the doctor’s office) and it came back just fine. I really need to relax!

But I could have done without the experience. I was worried about the whole getting sick thing as you know. Well I start to drink the drink and it’s NO WAY AS GOOD AS THE DRINK FROM THE INITIAL SCREENING! I don’t care what anyone says. The first test they give a nice orange drink that’s all fizzy and tastes exactly like an orange soda. YUMMY! So the 2nd test, the drink looks the same, smells the same but sure as hell doesn’t taste the same! What a difference more glucose can make because it was thick and syrupy and just hard to drink. I finally get it down and go out to wait. About 10 minutes later I can feel my stomach rumbling and I was not doing so well. I kept thinking “I don’t fucking believe this, I’m gonna get sick and have to do this shit all over again.” But I willed myself through it because hell if I’ll ever drink another bottle of that shit again. After the first hour passed I started to feel much better aside from the unbearable hunger pains. And it was sooooo boring and felt like I was there forever. But once it was over, my mom and I hit the Double T dinner and I consumed way more food than a human should ever eat in one sitting. It was so frigin’ good and now I’m happy to know I can enjoy that same meal without worrying about my sugar levels!

Man we are hot!

Normally I refrain from writing about anything toooo personal between Bryan and I. I’m usually an open book when it comes to just me. But since he found this to be just as entertaining, I got the OK :)

So last night, we’re getting all hot n’ steamy doing the deed which was turning out to take quite some effort with the positioning. (This isn’t always the case when there isn’t a big belly in the mix, I like to think of us as porn star quality :) HA!) We get in a groove and he puts his hand on my shoulder/neck area. I don’t know if it’s all this excess flesh I have but it made the funniest fart noise, impossible to ignore. So he chuckles which opened the door for my monstrous laugh. I freak out because it was that freaky, deep, crazy laugh I get when I’m going into my pregnancy hysterics. I’m afraid the crying will come next, not to mention I thought I was going to pee my pants that I wasn’t wearing. Somehow I regained myself because I did not want to be the mood breaker but mainly because I seriously thought I was going to pee. Now that I think about it, would have been quite an experiment for me to pee while in that particular scenario. I wonder what happens. Hmmmmmmm…

Come together!

I have more pictures to bore you with below. But Bryan and I just never seem to get bored of them ourselves so I wanted to post them. The nursery is coming together little by little. We still need to add the chair rail which we decided will be white instead of the antiqued black. Once we moved all the black furniture in we thought that was enough black. Odd for me to say Mrs. “Can never have too much black.” But I agree.

The crib and changer are both from Bratt Decor . And this past weekend we picked out the rest of the fabric to go with the main crib set fabric "Space Tots" . The coordinating fabric is a very soft, light flannel in a green (kind of a moss-y shade) with white stars on it. It looks soooo cute together and I can’t wait for his mom to finish! She’s actually taking a day off of work to work on it, she’s as excited as we are. We just stocked up on some tin robots last night too, now we just need some shelving. I think finding a matching rug will be the hardest part. And don’t worry, you will get pictures when the crib set is done and more of the nursery once it has everything together and in it’s final place.

Crib detail

The bambino's bed

The changer

Overall room shot

His first (and probably not last!) pair of Vans. Not sure if he'll actually get to wear them considering they only fit up to 12 weeks and if he's feet are like mine he'll probably be born with feet too big!

The miracle of the pregnant belly

I realized that the belly of a pregnant women is quite the miracle in more ways than one. In addition to providing the home and nutrients for the beloved fetus, strangers constantly smile at me. That makes me feel good. I've always been one to feel people were constantly giving me dirty looks. Until I started to show.

But what is most fascinating about it is how a big bulbous belly can make even the largest ass look good. Horrifying myself as I stood butt-naked in front of the full-length mirror I thought that if you were to look at my ass solo right now, it's a pretty frightening sight. But when you look at it in the context of the big belly, it looks rather small and damn good.

All hail the mighty belly!

Did you ever NOT want the weekend to come?

I’m not sure why but I’m really nervous about my Gestational Diabetes test tomorrow. I think because I had no worries about the first one and look where I am now! Needless to say I’m dreading the actual event aside from the extended time sitting in a lab….with my MOM no less. When I went for my first test there was a pregnant woman more pregnant than me there and she wasn’t looking so good. The lab guy then came out and told her she couldn’t finish and sent her home w/a barf bag. I thought she had the flu. So when I was getting the instructions the guy was saying “if you feel sick, there is the bathroom.” I’m like “hold up, WAIT! You mean I could get sick from this?” That thought never crossed my mind. He explained because the drink is so sweet (he obviously doesn’t have my sweet tooth) and you have to drink it so quickly some people can’t handle it. I asked if that’s what happened to the other lady and he said she was doing the 3 hour and the drink is more concentrated so I should be fine. Well here I am going in for the 3 hour with the more concentrated drink. I was worried about getting my blood drawn 4 times (hello, I only have 2 arms and itty bitty veins!) but all that blood with the sickening drink? I’m GOING TO DIE. It’s not that I’m terrified to get my blood drawn but 4 times is a bit much. I always get “how can you be afraid of needles with all those tattoos!” Let’s see….well the tattoo artist isn’t tattooing the inside of my fucking veins! It’s just the very top layer of my flesh, which hurts like a mother fucker anyway!

I also must mention that I feel I’ll fail this test. I’m generally all gloom n’ doom but aside from my normal pessimism, I really feel I’m going to fail. And if I do, I do. It’s not the end of the world…but it is just one more thing I’m going to have to think about and my brain is overloaded as it is. I’m forever on the verge of a meltdown. If only it could stay Friday forever and this little test never has to occur and I can continue to live in my sugar-loaded world of denial.

I do have some things to look forward to this weekend but generally it’s going to suck ass. I’ll be spending most of it fucking working. I hate doing that during my paid 40 hours. But I’ll be hanging with a friend and her adorable kidlings Saturday while Bryan is out being a man. I’m looking forward to seeing the mama with her awesome dreads I’m so extremely jealous of. And I did get to have fun time (although I should have been working) with another mama friend last night (she happens to be my #1 blog fan and #1 commenter!). In fact she’s probably reading some of your blogs as we speak! It was the first time I saw her newest addition who is already 8 months old!!!! I couldn’t believe how much time went by. It’s scary just how fast it goes. So the weekend won’t be a total bust. And I’m hoping to have some good news for me Monday, or Tuesday AT THE LATEST. “Hi Cara we’re just calling to let you know your blood work came back absolutely fine. You are the picture of good health and we should all strive to be like you.” OK that was pushing it.

H2o Challenge

I’ll be the first person to admit I never drink enough water. Or fluids in general. I am living proof a human can go longer than 7 days without water. I’ve always been that way, and I was never thirsty, it wasn’t like I was punishing myself. I just never needed a drink. But I knew the importance of it when I became pregnant so I did increase my water intake. Obviously it wasn’t enough. But to a person who can survive days in a desert, drinking a few small cups of water seemed like A LOT! I was drinking Orange Juice and getting a lot of fluid from fruits and salads I eat. But I knew I wasn’t meeting the daily minimum requirements for water. I realized that I could end up giving birth to a sun-dried baby so I better step it up. So I have a little challenge set up for myself. I bought a big ass 50 oz bottle to keep at work. I must drink the first half by noon and the second half before I leave. And I’ve actually been drinking more than that at work. Plus I have water with dinner and the rest of the evening and some other fluids with breakfast. I cut back on my OJ and really just trying to drink good old fashioned water (and I realized water is pretty boring). But Bryan has been really cute with it. If I ask for something like “Bryan can I see the remote” He responds with “First drink some water.” I KNOW I’m not getting at least the minimum! And if I meet my daily requirements I’m “rewarded” with a little something for dinner like Sprite or Ginger Ale. It really makes you appreciate the finer beverages in life.

Now that I think about it…wouldn’t it be great if we could give birth to a shriveled up baby so it’s much smaller and then we just add a drop of water and it plumps up to normal size AFTER it comes out?

It feels good to be in 3rd!

Here I am in my 3rd trimester (although I've read the 3rd trimester starts at 27 weeks and also at 28. Which is it people???) I must say I'm surprised I made it this far. I'm not surprised the baby has made it this far but during the first 5 months I thought I was going to have to pay someone to take over for me. I must admit I thoroughly enjoy being pregnant now. I absolutely love it, fat and all. Maybe I'll feel slightly different in my 9th month when I'm about to explode but I'm enjoying it at the moment.

My only complaint right now is the ongoing battle with maternity clothes. Yes there are some cute clothes but still not AS MANY cute options as regular clothes which always mock you as you walk by. You walk past store after store just to get to your ONE maternity store option and you try to pick the best (and sometimes just the cheapest) from the small selection. And they never fit well. If you want them to last more than a week, you have to buy them a little big. So you walk around with ill fitting clothes until you grow into them. Or you can buy them to fit now but then be prepared to come back in a few days to buy the next size up. When I first found out I was pregnant, Bryan and I were in A Pea in the Pod and I saw the cutest jeans. They were $175 and Bryan actually OK'd this purchase. I couldn't go through with it because it went against every cheap bone in my body. And Bryan only OK'd it because he said "Well you'll be able to wear them every day right?" Oh I love him so but silly Bryan. Would I ever wear the same pair of pants 7 days a week for 9 months straight? And I would have outgrown them by week 10! And what is up with the sizing?? I do most of my shopping online and when you look at the size charts it says to use your pre-pregnancy size and it'll determine if you fall into a S, M or L. It doesn't work that way! I was definitely a "small" pre-pregnancy but do you think I could squeeze this ass into a Small maternity now??? No, I'm onto large so it doesn't matter what I was before I was pregnant! It just rubs it in my face "this is the size you SHOULD be but here you are on the opposite end." Whatever, I don't care what size it is, just make sure it fits me for more than 3 days.

Eat at your own risk

People should be banned from eating McDonalds in public places (aside from in a McDonalds). It's really for their own good. If the smell of McD's comes wafting under my nose, I am overcome by the immediate urge to seek and devour the entire meal, including any limbs or whole people that stand between me and the golden arches. Excuse me now...I'm on a mission to find the source of this heavenly aroma.

Same shit, different day

Nothing too new lately on the baby front the last couple days but the same old shit. Actually that's a lie. I finally bought a diaper bag! That's news breaking. It's not the Fluerville one I so desperately wanted but it's similar and about 1/3 of the price. Check it out! I purchased it in a very cute little baby store in Fell's Point, The Corduroy Button (supposedly will have a website soon). But the locals I encourage you to visit the store. Yes Bryan hates the diaper bag and I made many attempts to find one we both liked equally as much but that grew to be impossible.

It's also my first sandal wearing of the season and it feels good. Fuck all those people who would give me shit saying your not "supposed to wear sandals before May" or whatever the hell the day is. I hardly listen to any rules in life; do I look like I give a fuck about fashion rules? Sorry but there happens to be more important things so if it's going to be 85 degrees in April, then I'm gonna wear some damn sandals. But I realized as I was getting ready this morning I should protect the world from my grotesque, unpolished toenails. I had been begging Bryan to paint them for me because I've been too busy to get in a pedicure, and I'm unable to hold my breath long enough to reach my toes myself. We kept forgetting so this morning after some Cirque De Soleil maneuvers, I managed to get on one coat. From far away they look GOOD ENOUGH.

Also Bryan has been diligently working on the nursery and it’s really coming along now. I have never been happier with paint colors before and they actually MATCH THE SWATCH. That’s a first. I was really worried about the green because it’s the color I wanted in our bathroom which turned out to be way too electric but this time it’s right on. I can’t wait for the nursery to be finished. I’ll eventually post pictures when it’s in its final state. Hopefully soon!

The year of paper

We made it to our first wedding anniversary today! Not that I had any doubts what-so-ever. It was a great weekend, nice and low key spending time with my husband and great friend celebrating 2 birthdays and an anniversary.

Our cake held up pretty well, thanks to the indestructible fondant. Man fondant doesn’t taste good but it sure looks good. I wasn’t sure how a cake that old would taste but once you ate around the fondant, the “peanut butter cup” flavor wasn’t too bad.

I love you Bryan! Happy 1^st Anniversary! One down, 99 more to go!!!

In one year our cake went from this to...

to this! Looks pretty good for 1 year old.

In one year we went from this...

to this and as happy as ever!

What me worry??

My preeclampsia blood work came back A.O.K. Maybe I'm making this pregnancy thing harder than it should be. She did say she thinks it could be a glucose thing so we'll see. Maybe it was unwarranted but I'm just happy to have a doctor that actually has me tested. I'm used to doctors who blow me off until I come back in a year and say hellllooooooooo, this is still happening, you think you can test me now??

One worry down, endless more to go...

The birthday girl at 27 weeks

On this day as I turn 28, here is my monthly official belly shot. I normally try to take it between the 13th and 16th of every month. The 16th was my original due date per fertilityfriend.com and based on my actual cycle. But the doctors said the 13th based on the generic formula from your LMP.

I never worry about turning older really. I feel I always have other stuff going on to distract me. That is until my husband reminds me he was supposed to trade me in for a newer model when I hit 25. Funny coming from someone who is 2 years and 364 days older than me!

This weekend will be great. We're going out for my bday dinner tonight, then picking a friend up at the airport. This is my oldest friend; we met in 6th grade when I moved to her area in Chicago. Then right before my freshman year in high school, my parents ripped me from the Illinois clutches and dragged me out here to Maryland. (And eventually after 4 years of making them suffer for forcing me to stay here against my will, I grew to love Baltimore). And we still keep in touch regularly (after a couple year lapse) But I'm really, really looking forward to seeing her. She's about 22 weeks pregnant (if I'm calculating this correctly!) so it'll be fun.

We actually started our “Trying To Conceive” journey together, unknowingly at first. We both had decided to start trying and had an agreement with our husbands we wouldn't tell anyone. Well being a girl and needing some female support, I told her right away and because I told her I think she felt comfortable sharing with me. We were both surprised to learn we were both trying at pretty much the exact same time. We figured being halfway across the country it was safe that the word wouldn't get around. After a few months of comparing cervical mucus (ahhh, that was fun) temp taking and charting, we fortunately both became pregnant and here we are. About to rub pregnant bellies and take lots of pictures in between our glutton-fests, as I like to call mine.

Anyway, happy birthday to me!

I figured I'd take these pics in the morning before work. I thought you might be sick of seeing me in the same old pajama pants.

I have no idea why my belly looks crooked, I think I'm kinda leaning on one leg but I swear it doesn't look that deformed. and I now see I have too much blush on.

My ring finger sausaged into my rings

Would you like smoking or non-smoking?

Non-smoking!!!

In all the excitement yesterday I completely forgot it was my 5 year anniversary of being a non-smoker. In 2000 I decided to quit for my 23rd birthday on 4.15. But since, as most smokers know, you may slip up a day or two so I gave myself 2 day leeway. I managed to actually quit cold turkey on 4.13! Yeah me, I'm so proud of you!

(By the way - no blood results back yet so I'm assuming there isn't anything urgent.)

I could really go for some more stress please

Well I called my doctor today because my vision seemed a little fuzzy (aside from my normal effects of stigmatisms and need of glasses) and I just feel a little off. Over the last couple weeks I’ve also had the little vision spots and it wasn’t just if I stood up too quickly or the usual culprits. I thought I should just run it by her. Her response was “if your vision is blurry, maybe you do have Gestational Diabetes.” And I mentioned that I was looking at the Preeclampsia symptoms and then she said “That was the other thing I was going to mention. Your blood pressure was kind of high for you last time.” So she ordered pre-eclampsia blood work which I immediately ran out and got. I should have the results back tomorrow. So at first I was worried about the possibility of having Gestational Diabetes. Now I’m 10 times more worried about having Pre-E. Of the symptoms listed on the website, I do have some but then there are other major symptoms that I’m lacking so I’m hoping for the best. I’ve concluded that most of the symptoms are just typical symptoms of being pregnant, so it’s tough to know. I am hoping that I just wasn’t drinking enough water or something simple like that. I could do without this possibility though and hopefully it’s eliminated tomorrow. Minor symptoms I have:

Hypertension – My blood pressure is still in the ‘normal’ range but it was elevated for me

Headache – Considering I get these almost every day of my life, including migraines, pregnant or not it’s hard to say what the cause is.

Nausea or Vomiting – I’ve had nausea lately that comes and goes and I chalked it up to just needing to eat something despite me eating every second.

Changes in Vision – already mentioned

Racing pulse, mental confusion, heightened anxiety, trouble catching your breath – Not sure about the pulse but definitely the others. Could be work induced stress though.

Stomach or Right Shoulder Pain – I’ve had that weird stomach pain that I had the ultrasound for before (when nothing was found) and it has come and gone randomly. I still really believe it is NOT constipation like some have suggested. My right shoulder hurts but that is also a similar location to the pain I get from navigating a PC mouse 40 hours a week.

Lower back pain – This comes and goes (and something my Dr. said could be Braxton Hicks, I may just get them in my back). I also get way more intense back pain right under my rib cage that comes and goes.

So as you can see these can be symptoms of Pre-E or just symptoms of life in general. Who knows!!

This leads me to my next thought about how people, including myself, always say “I just want a happy and healthy baby.” I’m changing my thinking now to “I just want a happy and LIVING baby.” I don't know, maybe I shouldn't even say that. As far as healthy goes, we can and will deal with whatever is given to us. And what is healthy? If he’s born with only 9 fingers is that unhealthy? If he’s born hearing impaired, is that unhealthy? If he’s born prematurely and needs to be in the NICU for months or repeated surgeries, is that unhealthy? He can be any or all of those things and still be happy so what more could I ask for? For me to say “I want a happy and healthy baby” and any of those things are considered unhealthy and he happens to be born with it, is that like me saying “I don’t want this?” Because he’s my son and I want him just as he is going to be.

Sorry for the downer. And any positive thoughts and prayers to your God of choice are always welcome and needed!

OH Canada!

I was a little bummed this year because every April we go on a vacation in honor of our birthdays. Since our birthdays are so close to each others (mine is this Friday 4.15 and Bryan’s is Saturday 4.16) we started the tradition of not exchanging gifts and just using that money for a vacation. The memories are far greater than if we were to get an outfit or an Xbox game. And as of last year we threw our wedding anniversary into the mix which is this Sunday 4.17. So it’s our first Trifecta as Bryan would say (and I’m not entirely sure of what trifecta means but I like it). But this is the first year we didn’t have a vacation planned. We weren’t sure where we’d be with the baby preparations, financially because of baby preparations and I was sick for so long we weren’t sure how I’d be feeling. But this was a huge year for us, our first wedding anniversary! Three celebrations in a row! And nothing planned and it was breaking our tradition.

2000 - First birthdays together, we go to Disneyland. And we both agree this will always be our favorite vacation even though we’ve been to more exciting places since. It was just so special. We even extended the trip at the last minute and called out sick from work in Florida.

2001 – The Bahamas. Tropical, beautiful weather, need I say more?

2002 – Vegas, stayed at Ceasar’s which will probably always be one of my fav Vegas hotels

2003 – Back to Florida, St. Petersburg. Our schedules were a little tricky with work so we spent the week at my sister’s. Hit up Orlando, Tampa and Sarasota.

2004 – The year we got married right after our birthdays so we count our 14 day honeymoon as the vacation. San Juan, Antigua, St. Lucia, St. Thomas, St. Maarten and Bahamas. It doesn’t get any better!!

2005 – Nothing. Nada. NO PLANS

In the last week or so we started throwing around the idea of just jetting off somewhere for the weekend but neither of us had tons of ideas. And things are just sooooooo busy right now and work is crazy I couldn’t think to ask off. We looked into a few options. Vegas was one since we love it but I thought the plane ride would be a bit too much for me right now for such a quick getaway. Everything we looked into was about $1k which seemed entirely too expensive to me for just a weekend. We’ve traveled for an entire week for $1k. Suddenly Bryan had the brilliant idea of Niagara Falls, Canada. It’s supposedly breathtaking, it’s new to the both of us, affordable and it’s a quick flight. Perfect. We’re heading out the last weekend of April for a belated celebration. (I had to wait until this round of deadlines was over so I can squeeze in a day off.). Needless to say we are really, really looking forward to this much needed trip. And as far as the actual Trifecta weekend, we’ll be doing a nice dinner, spending time with a good friend from Chicago (who’s also pregnant) and eating some 1 year old defrosted wedding cake.

Silly hubby

I looked at a medical insurance form Bryan had filled out for his employer and for some reason it asked for my height and weight. I noticed he wrote in that I am 5' 7" and 100 pounds. HA! Even in my finest I haven't weighed 100 pounds since my freshmen year in highschool (about 14 years ago). Not to mention I'm only 5' 5". Keep dreamin' hun.

Seriously how do you guys do it?

My neck of the woods can be a tad yuppie-ish. There are many doctors and young, successful entrepreneurs so I'm used to seeing the expensive cars, etc. But what I can't get over is how many frigin' Bugaboo Strollers there are in this small piece of the world. Recently I've counted 5....that's a lot considering the stroller is about $750 (and not any cheaper on eBay - I've looked!).

Just call me Jinx…news from my depressing OB appointment

Well I gained 5 pounds in the 3 weeks from my last appointment. That’s a grand total of 33 pounds in just under 27 weeks. My worst weeks were an 8 pound gain when the lady tried to comfort me by saying “Everyone had big weight gains over the holidays.” Too bad she couldn’t use the same excuse the next time when I gained 9 pounds. And then I have a friend who “only gained ½ a pound last month” A HALF A POUND. I think I gain that in an hour. Granted this was her first trimester when she was very nauseas but helllloooo, I was not only extremely nauseous but vomiting nonstop for 5 months and I STILL managed to gain 22 pounds (at that point).

I know I always harp on and on about the weight but that isn’t even what bothered me. I get there, get weighed, peed in the cup not to mention all over my hand (it seems like I now have 8 pee holes with the way the pee shoots everywhere) and I wait in the little room while she dips my pee. She comes in and sternly says “What did you eat?” Ummmmm, oops! I didn’t realize that when I chowed down on the Swedish Fish on my way over that it would be that instant and show up in my urine already. Or maybe it was those few cookies I had before I left the office. Either way I tried to distract her by saying “Oh I had my glucose test Saturday!” Expecting her to not have received the results already, I was not only surprised but very disappointed when she said “Yeah I know, we need to talk about that.” FUCK! You mean I failed that after I fasted and everything?!?! Apparently I had a 142 and 135 is the cut off. So I now have to do something I said I hope I wouldn’t have to is now take the 3 hour glucose test. I have to fast AGAIN and not just sit in the lab for 1 hour but 3, AND not just get my blood drawn once but 4 times!!! If I fail 2 out of the 4 blood draws then I have Gestational Diabetes. But my doctor thinks I’ll be just fine since I was barely over the limit and most people with it have higher scores the first time. So I asked her if I pass this 2^nd test if I should still change my diet or anything (I mean I KNOW I shouldn’t be eating candy and cookies but it’s different when it’s doctors orders) and she said “No you are fine.” If I am fine then can’t we just let this little thing go and let me skip the retest??? I know, I need to know for my baby’s sake. But I think I’m more upset about the fact that I have to sit in the lab for 3 hours than anything. And last Saturday I tried to find a Dunkin Donuts afterwards incase I found out this very news and would have to modify my diet but to no avail. So after this retest I’m damn making sure I hit a Dunkin Donuts before I get the results since there is even more of a chance I may not be able to eat it again for a while!

So I find all this out right before I get my blood pressure taken and of course it’s higher than normal. Not much at all and still in the normal range but I know it was because she just told me all this crap. And I’m sure work played a part in it. Also I thought I wouldn’t have to come back for another 5 weeks instead of 4 since this appointment was a week early but she immediately said “No 4 weeks.” I was looking forward to a little break. I think I’m on probation now.

Can Pregnancy….

> Make your arm hair grow to be 3 feet long? Seriously, it’s long. It doesn’t seem to be thicker just longer. How can fucking arm hair grow when my damn bangs won’t grow another centimeter so I can just tuck them behind my ear out of MY FUCKING EYES!

> Make you better at painting your nails? I have always sucked at making my nails look decent and relied on a dear friend to do them. Yet since I’ve been pregnant, they almost look professionally done. It’s amazing, too bad I can’t keep up on it.

> Cause you to have a breakdown while eating? The other night we were eating one of my favorite meals, Pepper Steak (you’d never know it is really a Weight Watchers recipe which only is a WW meal when you actually only eat the recommended portion.) Anyway I took a bite that was way too big for my mouth and a ton of rice stuck to my lips. Bryan didn’t really notice but then I started thinking about how frigin hilarious it would be to look up and see someone with all this rice stuck to their lips. So I started laughing hysterically, meanwhile Bryan has no idea what the fuck I’m laughing at and all he sees me do is spit almost all of it across the table at him from laughing and the rest of it all chewed up in my mouth and stuck in my teeth. I then proceed to almost crying (and this is where I started thinking it was a breakdown) because it didn’t feel like “I’m laughing so hard I’m crying” it felt more like “I’m crying because my life is over.” Then I returned back to the hysterical laughing but using a laugh I have NEVER ever used before. It was a very weird moment and it was even weirder because I was experiencing it alone with Bryan just staring at me like I fucking lost it.

> Increase your road rage? I’ve always suffered from it and have been an avid middle finger user (until Bryan – and that scary guy who followed us – convinced me it isn’t the safest thing to do anymore) but I’ve never been a honker. I felt that was for old ladies but my horn has gotten quite the work out lately. And I even hold it down looooooong as I continue to yell shit from my window.

> Increase walking rage? We walk a lot in the city, especially to the grocery store which is 10 feet from our house. The parking lot is always a big cluster-fuck but one day I felt a lady was a little too impatient with us crossing so I threw a jelly bean at her car. At this point in time, food is especially important to me so the fact I wasted 1 jelly bean on this lady shows how fucking mad I was. And this rage is getting more uncontrollable the more pregnant I become. When I was very newly pregnant we almost got hit by a car while we were walking in said parking lot. It was nighttime and starting to rain and a guy was less then inches from hitting us before he realized he needed to stop. Then he just drove off. Naturally with Bryan and I and our raging tempers, our instinct was to throw our Starbucks at his car and follow him and continue to vandalize his car and/or his body. But realizing we weren’t living for just us anymore, we let it go. If that were to happen today, I think I’d be giving birth in jail.

OH Glorious day!

It was such a beautiful day out today!!!! The weather was absolutely perfect and even better that it fell on a weekend. We had chores to do but said fuck it and went for a picnic in our hood on the water. It felt so nice to be walking and out in the sun and seeing all the people out and the boats. It said it was only 70 but it felt much warmer. If I had known before I left the house I would be in a skirt, tank top and flip flops (instead of sweats I still can’t believe I leave the house in so often). I’m sorry to inundate you with photos below but the weather put me in a snappy mood. And I in no way pretend to have any photography skills…I can’t take good pictures, I can’t envision what would make a good picture and I am even worse at editing. I just had to share our great day and the view for those who aren’t that familiar w/Canton. Man I LOVE where we live! It is the only thing that helps me deal with the lack of space in our house!!