Saturday, June 11, 2005

Damn Canines

I love my dogs, I really, really do. They bring me such joy and I'd give my life for them. But damn they are getting on my nerves! I have never spent so much uninterrupted time with them before and thank God for that!

Jolie has serious anxiety and she is just a walking stress ball. She is sitting there so calmly and you go to pet her and she just gets all wiggly and freaky. She is also a bulldozer and just pummels her way through anything, including your legs as you are standing on them.

Valentine can be so timid and hesitant about everything that you just want to slap him and say "wake up!" He'll just look at you with a completely blank look as though he can't hear you speaking then after 5 minutes a light goes off in his head and he's like "oh your talking to meeee. OK here I come."

And both of them don't know what the hell they want to do, they want to be inside, no outside, in the room with me, out of the room. Whining at every door in the house. If you put them on the other side of the door they whine that they want to come back. It's a full time job just trying to figure out where they want to be. Well I know where they want to be, in the bed under the blankets with me. Or more accurately in the bed to themselves because apparently I just get in their way when we nap.

They've had medical problems from day one, it's always something from Jolie's patella luxation in both knees costing a couple thousand to repair, to her being allergic to every insect bite or any vaccination the vet gives that she balloons up like the losing guy in a boxing match. It's always an event with her. Then Valentine and his epilepsy or chronic allergies, just one test and treatment after another. They can't eat the cheap dog food, no they need Rx allergy dog food since Valentine is allergic to everything on the planet a dog would normally consume.

But now, the kicker, they have some freaky bacteria that has given them lava-like poop for way too long. Unresponsive to the first antibiotics, they are now on round 2 and, AND their previous special diet isn't enough. Bad enough we have to buy special dog food but until this bug up their ass dies we have to cook them boiled chicken breasts and brown rice.

I don't cook for me, Bryan or anyone else yet I find myself at 6am today (couldn't sleep) boiling chicken and rice, chopping it up into tiny pieces and measuring it out. What is wrong with this picture? And I hate chicken. I am one of the few non-vegetarians that think chicken is the grossest thing. Especially raw which I had to fondle today. And even when it was cooked and I was cutting it up it made me want to gag.

Oh what we won't do for our kids. This is nothing compared to the real thing, right?


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