Don't forget to look behind you!

I was shopping for a dress to wear to a wedding this month. After many failed attempts and odd looks from Bryan I put on the prefect one. The color looked so good against my pasty skin; the fit was awesome (considering). It just flowed so nicely. It was a jersey type material so my belly button nub really showed but it wasn’t enough to stop me from buying it. I thought I would either deal with that or tape it down somehow. Bryan agreed it looked good and I was so excited to find it but since I question everything a million times I did one last “how does it look” to Bryan but this time showing him the back. Normally the back is the first place I look but it hasn’t been that big of a concern lately. I know my ass would look big…but with a dress the fabric wouldn’t really accentuate it since my belly would prevent it from being too tight. So I thought. I turned around and OH.MY.GOD. THE HORROR! I could see it come over Bryan’s face because I was using him as a judge, not the mirror. You could just see him panicking about how he could he tell me he would rather eat vomit than see my ass in the dress. You know the nice, flowy material I loved so much, well it likes to settle into ever cellulite dimple. I am not exaggerating, it was BAD. The entire ass! I think it would look better if I had my butt uncovered than it did in this dress. And being a thong wearer I didn’t have another layer of fabric to smooth it out. I thought about wearing full-butted underwear and just dealing with panty lines but I figured it would be best for everyone if my ass never left the dressing room in that dress.

After that I decided to just look for casual summer dresses to keep me comfy for the rest of the pregnancy. If you want to quadruple your size instantly, wear a dress when pregnant. Since the flowy, clingy fabrics don’t work, I went for the typical cotton-y types that don’t hang quit as nicely. And when they don’t hang nicely you look like a tank. I didn’t care though, I ended up with a simple black sleeveless dress and this other one I can’t believe I bought. I love it yet it’s so ugly. It’s candy striped…no better yet, picture the bright, colorful stripped fabrics you’d see in a cheap Mexican restaurant. That’s the pattern, very colorful, vertical stripes. It’s scrunchy up top and then just kinda hangs. I think it would look really cute on a non-pregnant girl. So not only do I look huge but because of the fabric, I look like a big, frigin circus tent. A traveling circus…but I love it. At least there is no ass-cellulite to be seen!