Thursday, May 05, 2005

Don't forget to look behind you!

I was shopping for a dress to wear to a wedding this month. After many failed attempts and odd looks from Bryan I put on the prefect one. The color looked so good against my pasty skin; the fit was awesome (considering). It just flowed so nicely. It was a jersey type material so my belly button nub really showed but it wasn’t enough to stop me from buying it. I thought I would either deal with that or tape it down somehow. Bryan agreed it looked good and I was so excited to find it but since I question everything a million times I did one last “how does it look” to Bryan but this time showing him the back. Normally the back is the first place I look but it hasn’t been that big of a concern lately. I know my ass would look big…but with a dress the fabric wouldn’t really accentuate it since my belly would prevent it from being too tight. So I thought. I turned around and OH.MY.GOD. THE HORROR! I could see it come over Bryan’s face because I was using him as a judge, not the mirror. You could just see him panicking about how he could he tell me he would rather eat vomit than see my ass in the dress. You know the nice, flowy material I loved so much, well it likes to settle into ever cellulite dimple. I am not exaggerating, it was BAD. The entire ass! I think it would look better if I had my butt uncovered than it did in this dress. And being a thong wearer I didn’t have another layer of fabric to smooth it out. I thought about wearing full-butted underwear and just dealing with panty lines but I figured it would be best for everyone if my ass never left the dressing room in that dress.

After that I decided to just look for casual summer dresses to keep me comfy for the rest of the pregnancy. If you want to quadruple your size instantly, wear a dress when pregnant. Since the flowy, clingy fabrics don’t work, I went for the typical cotton-y types that don’t hang quit as nicely. And when they don’t hang nicely you look like a tank. I didn’t care though, I ended up with a simple black sleeveless dress and this other one I can’t believe I bought. I love it yet it’s so ugly. It’s candy striped…no better yet, picture the bright, colorful stripped fabrics you’d see in a cheap Mexican restaurant. That’s the pattern, very colorful, vertical stripes. It’s scrunchy up top and then just kinda hangs. I think it would look really cute on a non-pregnant girl. So not only do I look huge but because of the fabric, I look like a big, frigin circus tent. A traveling circus…but I love it. At least there is no ass-cellulite to be seen!


Blogger loopis said...

I love the circus.....especially clowns........scroll down to

j/k ribbie! - DH

12:12 PM  
Blogger Mama C-ta said...

Funny hun, you know I wear my clown makeup just for you.

12:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it's so cute he calls you ribbie! It's hard shopping while your pregnant! I wonder if my dimples showed in the dresses I wore all summer and nobody decided to tell me! :0)-KELLI

12:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We were just all on here at the same time.-KELLI

12:25 PM  
Blogger Anne said...

ugh. The cellulite is the worst. Why can't it come into fashion once again? wah wah wahhhhh! You may have been able to get away with the first dress by wearing panty nevermind. I NEVER wore pantyhose while pregnant. Holy hell that would suck.

4:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dresses are horrible!!! I tried one on about a month ago (when I was much smaller!), and it was quite funny watching Jeff try to find the words to tell me I looked ridiculous. He finally decided on, "It looked better on the hanger." It was a smart choice of words and much kinder than anything I thought as I looked in the mirror. Normally I would still get mad at him for saying anything other than it looked great, but I couldn't deny the fact that I looked like a five-year-old wearing a "house" dress. My solution -- wear a skirt! Luv ya! :o)

8:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That last one was from me, but my PG brain forgot my blogger username!

:o) Lisa

8:47 AM  
Blogger Mama C-ta said...

You know I feel bad for having 2 pregnant girls in my wedding now, they must have hated me! Well my sister is obligated to love me and Kelli still talks to me so hopefully you're OK now!

10:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wouldn't have missed it for the world! We had big plans to move to Jamaica and sell beads on the street, husbandless and all! It seemed logical in my 16 year old brain! I had to be a part of your big day, even if it meant being pregnant in a strapless dress! That was a great wedding! To those of you who haven't checked out the pictures to my right, you should, they're awesome! LOVE YA,KELLI

9:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hence the pants and top i wore to your wedding;) my mom and i settled on that and decided that i'd just have to accessorize well-lol!!!
everthing else was just nightmareish!!
but of course as always, i see a million cute maternity things now that i am not preg.

bottom so to speak, this too shall pass:)

9:09 PM  
Blogger Rachael said...

LOL! I so remember that. I had to buy a wedding dress for myself when i was pregnant. In Utah there is not a single gown shop that sells maternity wedding gowns. So I ended up at dillars trying on plus sized prom dresses. I was so depressed. But I ended up finding a really great one that was clearanced too. So it all worked out. My tip is to never leave sweatpants when you are pregnant.

10:24 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home