Friday, July 22, 2005

I'll be in the mental hospital if anyone needs me

So when does all this obsessive worrying end? It doesn't does it? I'm going to lose my mind.

When do you stop sifting through their poop to make sure it's the proper seedy consistancy?

When do you stop obsessing if they are getting enough breast milk despite them already gaining their birth weight back?

When do you stop thinking that every other car on the road is going to slam into you and you no longer want to drive on the shoulder with your hazards on going 5 mph? (don't worry we don't do this)

When do you stop worrying that the bumps in the road are too much and will cause some sort of damage to him?

When do you no longer want to rip the limbs of the lab person off when she does a heel prick and make your son cry?

When do you stop standing over him as he sleeps?

When do you stop hovering over anyone who holds him ready to grab him out of their hands at the first sign of his discomfort?

When do you stop changing his clothes a million times a day because you think he's too now he's too cold, hot, cold, hot, cold...

When do you stop calling the pediatrician a million times to make sure his cord is healing OK?

When do you stop getting mad at your husband because he isn't as high strung about all these things as you are?

With that said...

His first pediatrician appointment went very well. He's healthy, normal and average in everything (high average for height and weight, no surprise there). He was 8lb and 15oz and 21 inches when he was born and is now 9lbs 2oz and 21 3/4 inches.

We went through about 100 diapers at the one appointment because they kept taking a rectal temp and it would be instant explosion (his temp was a little high when we got there).

But man, this is all worth it.


Blogger Brandi said...

Didn't I tell you. It never ends sweetie. As they get older you just worry about different things...don't worry though. It is all so totally normal. I remember with J (she was a stomach sleeping) she would NOT sleep on her back. Everytime she would move I would look at her to make sure her head was not straight down and she was going to sufficate herself. I didn't get much sleep! Esp since this is your first. I hear it gets better with the second. I don't know....haven't been there yet!
He is such a little cutie!

12:18 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

just so you know:

my kids will be 4 in October and I -
1)evaluated HIP's poo this morning wondering what the heck he ate that was so red... and was this possbily blood?
2)I worry that Millie Sue is going to be 4 and doesn't weigh 30 lbs
3)just today I went around a speed bump because I thought the seatbelt straps would hurt the kids if I went over it correctly
4)I still want to punch people when my kids are crying out of fear or pain and someone tries to " help" me by snatching the injured child away from me
5)every night I draw "I heart you "on the kids' bodies...just so they know... and I watch them wiggle when I poke them so I know they are breathing
6) I'm having Millie Sue's belly button evlauated by a surgeon for a possible hernia

7)Parker and I still don't see eye to eye on how to raise kids... but we are learning not to "divide" but to "join forces" when the need arises.

AS you can see.. you are right on track. The number one qualification of parenthood is harboring the ablity to obsess.I pride my ability to worry myself into oblivion. Don't feel lonely, join the club! Keep up the good work!

12:50 PM  
Anonymous Carol said...

Listen to me closely: TRUST YOUR BODY. You KNOW he's getting enough breast milk. So, find something else to worry about :)

The other issues? Eh, over time you'll just start worrying about other things.

Isn't it fun being a mommy?! I never guessed that I could love and care about another person on such a level.

You are doing GREAT! Try to relax and enjoy your baby!

1:07 PM  
Blogger michaela said...

amazing, isn't it? the worry changes a bit - but it's always there.

damn, he's just so perfect. makes me miss that newborn breastmilk breath.

1:25 PM  
Blogger dk said...

it stops? At almost 6 I still check my daughters breathing. At 1 I still inspect every poopy diaper of my sons.

The pediatrician calls did fade away after my first child...but I still call my SIL with obsessive questions!

2:52 PM  
Anonymous kathy said...

Adorable pictures and I'm sorry to tell you it never ever ends. My two girls are 20 and and 22. It takes all my willpower not to fuss over them. But they have grown up and are strong and independent. I did my job as parent well. I'd do it all over again.

3:49 PM  
Blogger reet said...

you are's all worth it.just remember, ainsley is nine. i STILL make sure she is breathing even though she has been free of lung disease since 9 months old! she's nine for the love of god! i freak out every saturday night when i have to share custody with her father and almost throw up every time the phone rings waiting for the phone call from him telling me she flipped her wheelchair and has a never ends! bryan is just so much more laid back than all of us! and those pics are fab! he is such and angel! i'm glad he's doing well.

4:54 PM  
Blogger Anne said...

i still do lots of those things but totally remember the breastmilk worry. try not to worry too much...he'll let you know.

6:22 PM  
Blogger Melinda said...

Trust me the worry never never ends, not to scare you but it only gets worse and more paranoid, lol. My oldest son is now 10 and still worry about the same shit (ok maybe not ALL the same stuff) that i worried about the day he was born, Only now i have a few other things to add to the list. He still isnt aloowed to go to a public bathroom alone...YES PEOPLE I TAKe MY 10 Year Old BOY into the ladies room! And you know what i dont care wtf people think of that! HHAHAH

6:51 PM  
Blogger Rachael said...

Like they have all said, it never ends. In fact it just gets worse and more and more things get added to the list. Soon you'll have a 10 month old who sleeps through the night, but you still won't because you swear he has died from SID's. It's a rough life being a mom, but like you said, so worht it.
Glad to here your little big guy is growing well. :)

7:27 PM  
Anonymous MB said...

Just remember: He's FINE. Fine. Don't worry too much; you won't break him, and the worry can get mentally exhausting after a while.

For me, obsessive worrying was part of my baby blues, and it just overwhelmed me. Now that the hormones leveled out, I'm able to be much more laid back.

Though I still stand over his crib several times a night to see if he's breathing. He always is. :)

Julian is gorgeous, and you guys make a beautiful family.

8:34 PM  
Anonymous Nicole said...

Ha! It doesn't end. But you do learn to trust your instincts and trust that you know your kid.

They've actually done brain imaging on mothers of newborns and found that their brain is in a mode resembling that of a person with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Isn't THAT nuts?!

8:46 PM  
Blogger Tinker said...

It doesnt end,but it does ease off a little,my oldest is 15 and I worry constantly.Congrats on the new baby, he is so beautiful,This time will go bye so fast so enjoy every little smell,sound and moment.My baby just turned one wow that fist year is amazing!

9:26 PM  
Blogger Little Miss said...

You never stop worrying. You never stop wondering. You never stop investigating. You never stop checking on them in the middle of the night.

These are all the incredible blessings of motherhood. Thanks for sharing!

12:02 AM  
Blogger Kira said...

some of that stuff goes away in a few months and some of it never goes away. when you are 70-whatever an he is 40-whatever it worry will still be there.

6:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I notice you're reading The Montessori Method. My eight-year-old daughter has been in a Montessori school since she was four. It was great for her because they never underestimated what she could do. If they feel like a kid is ready they'll teach it- so sometimes you see second graders doing algebra or third graders reading on a middle school level. Their system is also very disciplined and encourages kids to be self-reliant, thoughtful, and organized.
There are some drawbacks to the Montessori method, though. The method assumes that kids will be more interested in things they don't know yet. That was true when my daughter was in preschool, but not so as she got into the elementary grades. My daughter thought math was hard and avoided it as much as they would let her, so she's way ahead in reading and science (which she likes) but kind of treading water in math. It seems like Montessori works best for 3-6 year olds, when they are really eager to learn and less concerned with how they look doing it.
Another drawback I noticed was materials. They are expensive to buy and some are hard to make at home. Also, some of the math materials are a choking hazard for the under-3 crowd.
I found a good system for teaching kids before they are 3. The Institute for the Achievement of Human Potential ( publishes a book on teaching reading, math, and knowledge to babies called How to Multiply Your Baby's Intelligence. They have other books about reading and math and knowledge specifically (plus videos, courses, and computer programs) but this one combines the three and is a good place to start. They also have a physical program which is supposed to enhance brain development and physical fitness. I heard about this program from a friend whose kids were learning from it; one of his daughters read at 18 months! Unfortunately, I wasn't able to try it because my daughter was five- too old!
This isn't a commercial for iahp... they have drawbacks too. For instance, their materials are expensive too (though they really encourage you to make them yourself). Their program is kind of slanted toward visual-auditory; I think I might change the program to make it a little more tactile.
Oh, and one more tip that worked for me in teaching my daughter reading. I taught her the alphabet as phonics instead of using the letter names. It made it easier for her when she started to sound out words on her own. (I did this after noticing my nephew saying Cee-Ay-Tee instead of c-a-t.) For what it's worth, it works, she read as a young three.
Disclaimer- don't take this as me trying to turn you into a pushy parent. I really enjoyed teaching my daughter, she really enjoyed learning, and it brought us closer. Each parent makes an individual choice about what they want to teach and when. I'm just sharing some of what I wish someone had told me earlier.
Teaching your baby gives you something to do other than worry, too!
Enjoy your baby!

7:16 AM  
Blogger dakotablueeyes said...

The worrying will never stop lol, you are now a mother and that's forever your job lol.

8:35 AM  
Blogger Daph said...

LOL, you are too cute! It might feel like you're worrying too much or there are so many things to think about, but you're all still adjusting to your new situation. (((hugs))) to you and Julian.


1:38 AM  
Blogger Becki said...

oh yeah, it never ends. it actually gets worse before better! My main worries were the stomach sleeping; scottie refused to sleep on his back; and the breastfeeding part too. Your babe is a doll!

10:31 PM  
Blogger cupamo said...

It never stops....just wait until he's a teenager...hang in there! You will get used to it...

11:58 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Flinger said...

You don't hon. :-)

1:20 PM  

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