Tuesday, June 14, 2005

I'm officially an insomniac

Before when I was having my sleep issues where I was awake from 3-5am, then 2-5am, then 2-6am, Bryan would get mad if I said I had insomnia. That was not a true insomniac and I shouldn't belittle a serious medical condition by my pathetic sleep troubles. Now I think I can say I really do have insomnia. OK probably not really but I'm sooooooooooooo tiiiiiiiirrrrrrrred I can't see straight.

My nap yesterday fucked me up. Normally I'm ready for bed by 10pm. But because I slept from 3-6pm I was wide awake until 1am. I tried to force myself to fall asleep in attempt to keep some sort of regular sleeping pattern. Which until recently, naps didn't even affect (effect?) me. Before I was pregnant I would typically have a few hour nap and that was just to keep me alive. It never kept me up at night. Then during the first trimester those 3 hour naps increased to twice a day. Then as the pregnancy effects (affects?) wore off I didn't need to nap quite so much. I then started having trouble sleeping at night. Now that I've been home from work, I was taking little cat naps which seem to keep extending I think because of my inability to sleep at night. It's not that I'm uncomfortable because even though I'm pretty big being near the end of my pregnancy, I can get comfortable just fine. I don't even think it's the fact I have to pee so much. I JUST CAN'T SLEEP. I think I tend to pee so much because I'm just tossing and turning so I think peeing will help. I literally pee every 15 minutes now until I get into a deep sleep which is sometimes never. EVERY 15 MINUTES is no exaggeration.

But last night I wanted to drive off a bridge I was getting so upset. I just lay there, tossing and turning and peeing and turning and tossing. I was almost in tears. I tried all my tricks, going down stairs and having a snack which used to work. I didn't even get on the PC or watch TV because I read that can make it worse by stimulating your mind. I tried to change positions, put my head down where your feet go, I tried to sleep on the couch, and I used my sleep mask so it'd force my eyes to be shut. I counted everything I possible could. All these things seem to work for 10 minutes then stop. I'll do something new and I’d feel like I'm about to drift off then I'm suddenly wide awake again. So at 4am after not sleeping a full minute, I take a luke-warm bath. I think a hot bath would have helped but that's not an option! I also took some benedryl. I normally don't condone the use of sleep aids but I was desperate. I still laid there, the sun was coming up and I think I finally fell asleep at almost 6am. And it is never a deep sleep. It's always this half-assed almost awake sleep state. I never feel rested!

So today I'm going to force myself to go napless. Otherwise I'm afraid I'll end up like a newborn and have my days and nights mixed up. Heeeeyyy, maybe this is what it's all about. Mother Nature is switching my circadian rhythm to prepare me for long nights ahead. If that's the case, she needs to back the fuck off because I'd like to keep my normalcy for as long as possible and let me sleep during the night!

Fine, so maybe I'm still not a true insomniac but I can tell you I'm well on my way!


Anonymous Carol said...

I've always had difficulty sleeping during the last few weeks of my pregnancies too. This last time my midwife felt sorry for me so she RX'ed me some Ambien. 1/2 a tablet about 1/2 hr before bed and I was good to go.

Oh, and the secret to getting as much sleep as possible once the baby gets here: Co-sleeping. Baby fusses, you offer a breast and viola, everyone goes back to sleep quickly and peacefully.

I think the "insomnia" is mother nature's way of preparing us for what lies ahead. And I agree with you, she needs to step off. Let us sleep while we can!

9:50 AM  
Anonymous Carol said...

Oh, btw -- thanks for linking me on your blog! I can always use some readers, lol.

9:53 AM  
Blogger michaela said...

i couldn't sleep very well the last 6 weeks, either. and man, i had forgotten how angry i would get about it until just now. i would throw all the covers off of the bed and leave the room (my poor husband). but you know, by the time the baby came along i was pretty adjusted to her schedule (her not having one and all).

i know, doesn't help, thought i'd share anyway. :) and hey, thanks for the link!

1:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the greatest thing in the world was sleeping on my stomach after i got home from the hospital!!!
and i cannot state this enough:SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS when you get home. trust me, a house can be cleaned,laundry folded etc etc, at 4 am just the same.
not that i do it then either-lol,

2:25 PM  
Blogger michaela said...

i never did learn how to sleep when mia slept. it was my only alone and awake time. not that i cleaned... :)

11:10 PM  

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