Saturday, July 02, 2005

Next time

First off, let me get this clear, that should read "IF there is a next time," I'm not completely sold yet. But I often wonder what I would do differently next pregnancy and I really don't think I would do much.

The top thing would be to worry less. I really don't feel I worried TOOOO much for which I'm proud but I would like to worry even less next time. There just is no point especially when pregnancy "rules" change from year to year and so much is out of your hands. In my opinion. It's funny because the last week or so I've probably worried the most and I think it's because I have nothing else to do. I am just feeling unmotivated with the pregnancy now...umm I'm a little over it at this point! So I worry that I'm going to suddenly fuck it up but I haven't been doing anything differently than I've done thus far. It's just funny how I hear some pregnant women talking about "such a blessing, blah fuckity blah" up til the day they deliver. Yeah it's great, yeah it's a blessing but I'm not one for sugar coating, it can be a bitch so let's be real. And I don't even have any complaints, nothing is hurting me at the moment, nothing is bothering me, I'm just ready to MOVE ON!

Getting back on track. I would say I'd like to not gain so much weight next time but I happened to enjoy eating like a pig. And it's weird because before I was pregnant I actually ate quite healthy and splurged on special occasions. It wasn't a daily event like now. So I got a lot of enjoyment out of the last 38 weeks. 100 pounds of enjoyment (not quite there YET, I do have almost 2 more weeks!). The only thing I think I would change is completely out of my control, I do NOT want to have 24/7 morning sickness for 20 weeks. And that is a big reason why I gained most of my weight...what else will happen when you can only keep pizza and McDonald's down??? So maybe if I'm sick next time I'd try to find a couple other lower-fat and healthier alternatives that don't make me vomit. AND if I am not sick next time I'd like to keep exercising throughout the pregnancy. But being rendered practically bed ridden for the first 20 weeks, it kind of got me out of the whole "work out" thing. Yeah I was just pretty focused on dying or at least sleeping continuously for 5 months straight. Oh one big thing is I'd block out comments a little better. Everyone always has their opinions on what I should or shouldn't be doing or should or shouldn't be eating so I wish I could have let them roll off my back a little better instead of getting so frustrated. Not that I would listen to anyone who wasn't my doctor, I still let it get to me.

So do I feel like I've messed up throughout the pregnancy? Nope. Do I feel guilty for anything I've done? Nope. Do I worry I could have caused some unforeseen problem with my child or his development while I carried him by any possible yet unintentional negligence on my part? Nope. Whatever happens at this point was going to happen.

There you have it, I feel I was the best pregnant person I could have been and I'm damn proud. Now get him out of me!


Blogger RSM said...

Trust me, if you have a "next time", you're going to be so over the pregnancy by week 12. My first time I was all excited and things were cool and fun and bla bla bla, even though I puked my guts up for the entire first trimester and gained 50-55 pounds. This time, blahhhhhhh, it sucks. 9 1/2 months is too damn long. I want my body back. I want my regular clothes back. I want to be able to wear jeans that don't have an elastic waist band.
But I sure am gonna miss eating like a pig. 'Cause like you I'm pretty healthy when I'm not pregnant.

Anyway, I'm about 30 weeks along and I am so bored and annoyed with being pregnant. And it's too damn hot.

So, you should feel lucky. Only 2 more weeks to go! (Unless of course you get cursed with the dreaded first time pregnancy 2 weeks late thing... MUAHAHAHAHAHA.... I know, you hate me.)

11:10 AM  
Blogger Elaine said...

You're doing GREAT, mama. I did do some things differently during A's pregnancy... but it was mostly good on both rounds. I hear you about being ready to meet your baby.

Soon. I promise. :)

11:56 AM  
Blogger dakotablueeyes said...

I swore off mexican food during my second cause i thought that made me gain so much, okay did well but picked up a pasta habit. lol so any weight i lost before the second was gained back and still working on loosing it three years later. I'm just have no willpower in that area now lol. Who cares I finally said, I love my kids and wouldnt change it for anything but I do have my spells where I work out and loose some weight so not all bad. lol So don't feel bad about the weightgain when the motivation hits to loose it you will.

3:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just ran across your journal through a friend's site ...just wanted to say congrats on the kiddo and hang in there! My first little guy was born under the full moon and his little brother under a new moon. I'm not much of a believer in most of that hulabooboo, but since the moon turns the tides and all, who can say. Maybe your little dude is waiting for the new moon? I think it's on the 6th.

Boys rock, it will all be worth it! You're going to have a blast.

7:18 PM  
Anonymous mb said...

right on. I love your pride and confidence -- it'll carry you a long way.

[and don't sweat the pounds -- half of them will come off in the first week without you lifting a finger.]

8:07 PM  
Anonymous Nicole said...

I hear you on the "blocking out comments" point. I got so much advice (much that I didn't ask for) that my head was spinning. And I won't be sharing any information about possible names the second time around. Because people have no restraint when it comes to weighing in on your decision about what to name your own kid!

Glad you are feeling proud and confident! You are ready when he is!

8:40 PM  
Blogger Brandi said...

I to hope next time I don't gain as much weight. Baby weight is the hardest thing in the wrld to lose! J is 2 and I still need to lose 10 pounds of it :) LOL

7:34 AM  
Blogger RysMomma said...

My 2nd preg was the one were I gained the least (only 30 LOL!). With B I gained 80 and Ry I gained over 60 lbs. I loved it when I was preg but the aftermath was bad. Thankfully with B & A I lost it all right away but with Ry I am just now losing it and getting back to "normal" but with a much bigger ass! No matter what you body will never be the same as it was before after a baby. Regardless I still think you have the AWESOMEST preg belly ever!

12:28 PM  
Blogger rina said...

Breastfeeding is the best weight loss program. And you will be hungrier than you ever were during the pregnancy. So you can continue to pig out for at least 6 more months and the pounds will fall off.

1:40 PM  

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