Saturday, June 18, 2005

Lime Pie

No, not KEY Lime Pie, just Lime Pie. Our overpriced - crappy produce selection - always out of the lean meat and good bread - Safeway doesn't have KEY limes...just limes so that's what I used gah damnit.

And guess what?! I got to use my citrus lime squeezer for the first time since receiving it as a wedding gift over a year ago. AND I FELT SO FUCKING COOL. Man if I could just make a living squeezing limes all day. So anyway, yeah the pie sucked. This is why I don't cook and although I thoroughly enjoy baking, I rarely do it. Because RECIPES LIE, they all. fucking. lie. Maybe they are more "guidelines" and a real baker would know how to properly adjust the "guidelines" to have it turn out as something they would actually feel comfortable serving to guests. It's a good thing I had to taste test it.

And can someone tell me how the hell to use one of these? Maybe the problem is that I didn't have the stylish version that would have coordinated with my squeezer ever so fashionably (because that is what this is all about). It seemed like an easy enough tool, I understand the concept. So why, please tell me WHY when the prep time for the entire pie is 40 minutes it took me almost 40 minutes to zest 2 frigin' limes! And I barely got the 1 1/2 teaspoons of zest needed.

But what I really want to know is how come the recipe that makes a 9 -inch pie ONLY FILLED MY PIE CRUST UP HALF WAY???? Since I was still going to attempt to serve it to others instead of hogging it all to myself I tried to fix such a disaster buy filling in the remaining 1 1/2 inches of empty pie crust with the homemade whipped topping. It's supposed to just be a dollop you put on each slice after you cut it and are about to serve it but here I am putting a nice frothy 2 inch layer over my entire pie trying to mask my flaw. It still sucked! And I guess my lack of skill is making it hard for me to see the advantage of making something homemade when the pre-made, store bought version is much better (i.e. Cool Whip!).

I will say though there was a nice, zesty, lime flavor to it, much better than the too-sugary faux versions. But I still wouldn't serve this monstrosity. I'm not quite sure what went wrong...Anne, please help. Or how about you just make me one next time?


Blogger Anne said...

oh honey, those zesters are SHIT! You need one of the microplanes, they zest very quickly and easily. Throw your zester out. IT is too clunky and they do a poor job, as you learned. I just made this recipe a few days ago...dammit if you were closer I could show you how I did it!! The crust was a little tedious. I put it in a tart pan instead of a pie plate and it was ok. my experience with pies like this is that they are always only about half-full. I think the only ones that actually fil the pan are fruit pies...i don't know why this is. Homemade whipped cream is the shizzle!!! Step away from the cool whip! :) oh hail, emma is crying. don't give up! Keep at it! You will only improve, seriously.

11:13 AM  
Blogger Anne said...

ps those lime squeezers are AWESOME!!

11:54 AM  
Blogger michaela said...

microplane - it rocks. my husband said so...i don't enter the kitchen...but i do know that zesting shouldn't be that hard.

2:20 PM  
Blogger KELLI BELLY said...

Sorry your pie didn't turn out.:0( I'm sure next time will be better. That sounds like something that would happen to me!

6:47 AM  
Blogger Mama C-ta said...

Oooh, microplane now that's what I need! Thanks for the tip!

And fine, no more Cool Whip for me :( At least THAT part was easy to make!

7:26 AM  

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