You wish you were this lucky

To have as great of a husband as I do. Mine would never mess with an overly tired pregnant woman, oh no. He would NEVER put toothpaste on the doorknob to the bathroom after I've gone to bed knowing I would stumble in there half asleep and grab it. (As I smelled my hand trying to figure out what it was, I pictured him laughing at me in his sleep.) And he would never take it one step further and put toothpaste ON THE TOILET SEAT since I don't turn the light on, I'd never know until it was too late. Fortunately that was dried up by the time my big booty got to it.

You are jealous, I know.