Here is your chance
It won't happen often but right now I'm actually asking for advice. The boy won't sleep solo anymore. It is getting more and more difficult putting him in his co-sleeper or anywhere else for that matter and having him sleep, day or night. The ONLY place he seems able to sleep is laying on my chest curled up in a little bean ball, tummy to tummy (like right now). While so very precious and makes me feel so loved and needed, I can't sleep like this! I try to lay him down to sleep and he won't. So I pick him up and put him on my chest and he'll fall asleep. I wait until it seems like he's in a deep sleep and I carefully move him to his co-sleeper and within seconds he's awake.
He wouldn't even sleep laying next to us in our bed anymore (but I decided I don't want to do that anyway). Nope, because it's NOT ON MY CHEST. The only other place I got him to sleep was laying him on his back on a pillow in our bed. I'd never let him actually sleep like that I just needed to take a break for a minute and that actually worked. So I thought hey, he's sleeping on his back alone right now, I'm sure I can move him to his co-sleeper and he'll be fine but I was wrong! WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.
So what I've been doing to keep peace in the house at night is holding him on my chest and trying to stay awake. This isn't working not only because I'll have to sleep myself at some point but there was once or twice I've dozed off holding him like this and woke up with him around my waist. I didn't notice he slipped down and this scared me so I don't like to do it. There are a couple hours out of the night where I do get him to sleep on his own but it's like pulling teeth and it doesn't last nearly long enough.
He seems a little gassy or poopy which may be why he likes to be more upright and curled up. Because when I put him on his back he sounds like he's really struggling to push something out. And sometimes when he's fussy and is acting like he wants to eat, he won't because he's squirmmy and "pushing" whatever out. And his poop is like pure liquid so you'd think it'd come out fairly easily but I guess it still has a long way to travel and no help from gravity when laying down.
So let's have it, any advice on how to get him to sleep safely somewhere other than on my chest or is this the life of a babe?
He wouldn't even sleep laying next to us in our bed anymore (but I decided I don't want to do that anyway). Nope, because it's NOT ON MY CHEST. The only other place I got him to sleep was laying him on his back on a pillow in our bed. I'd never let him actually sleep like that I just needed to take a break for a minute and that actually worked. So I thought hey, he's sleeping on his back alone right now, I'm sure I can move him to his co-sleeper and he'll be fine but I was wrong! WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.
So what I've been doing to keep peace in the house at night is holding him on my chest and trying to stay awake. This isn't working not only because I'll have to sleep myself at some point but there was once or twice I've dozed off holding him like this and woke up with him around my waist. I didn't notice he slipped down and this scared me so I don't like to do it. There are a couple hours out of the night where I do get him to sleep on his own but it's like pulling teeth and it doesn't last nearly long enough.
He seems a little gassy or poopy which may be why he likes to be more upright and curled up. Because when I put him on his back he sounds like he's really struggling to push something out. And sometimes when he's fussy and is acting like he wants to eat, he won't because he's squirmmy and "pushing" whatever out. And his poop is like pure liquid so you'd think it'd come out fairly easily but I guess it still has a long way to travel and no help from gravity when laying down.
So let's have it, any advice on how to get him to sleep safely somewhere other than on my chest or is this the life of a babe?
posted by Mama C-ta at
8:30 AM
20 Comments:
have you tried putting a blanket between you so it's not such a temperature shock when you put him down? temperature changes wake me up.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
Pick up Elizabeth Pantley's "The No-Cry Sleep Solution." It saved my ass.
Go. Do it now.
And get someone to come strap the boy on for a while so you can sleep.
We had to prop up the bassinet so that it was angled for Ry to sleep longer. Works amazingly! If he sleeps on a pillow this may be a great help. You can pick up those angle things at like target and stuff but you could do the cheap version and just tilt the co-sleeper with something under 2 of the legs.
Ry was like that but she was really into co-sleeping in bed with us, and still is when she wakes in the morning (before I am ready). G hates it but hey I will do anything for a few more minutes of sleep!
I had problems getting my daughter to sleep anywhere but on my chest as well. The only thing that seemed to work was to let her fall asleep while I held her then lay her down in her car seat(strapped in). I know it might sound weird but the more upright slightly crunched up position seemed to work. During the day I would keep trying to lay her down but at nights when I needed sleep too the carseat was the way to go. After a few months she did grow out of needing the car seat... Good luck!
Hmmm...welcome to Motherhood? LOL I have co-slept with all of mine for this *exact* reason (well this reason plus many more) but don't let people scare you (re: a comment above about changing their sleeping habits later will be harder if you co-sleep -- I've never had a problem). Do what feels right to you. And my motto was always "do what works for now & cross any problematic bridges later IF they even occur".
That said, my babies would usually sleep for a few hours in their infant carseats. In fact, I kept a 2nd one w/ the straps taken out on hand for my last 2. I'd lay a blanket in it so it was more cushy.
You might also try the swaddling. That might make him feel more secure.
Have you checked out/read Dr. Sears's "Nighttime Parenting"? That book really helped me when I was having issues with DS1. Turns out all he needed was just to co-sleep with me. Learn how to nurse lying down. Then Julian will fall asleep next to you & you won't have to move him.
I know you said you didn't want to co-sleep but maybe you could re-evaluate that. Seriously. Since you aren't getting any sleep.
Best of luck! You'll figure it out. BUT just know that "sleeping like a baby" usually means sleeping only while held and not for very long at a time, lol.
here are a couple of the places mia slept for the first few months. though i can't say any one thing worked better than the other because these babies? they change their minds a LOT.
1. carseat placed inside the co-sleeper.
2. swaddled and propped up in boppy inside the cosleeper
3. the swing. oh my god the swing. especially in the daytime. she wouldn't nap anywhere else for months.
4. the bouncing/vibrating seat. the best invention ever.
5. in our bed. after the first couple weeks i just started leaving her in our bed so that i could just roll over and nurse her and fall back asleep. it worked really well but when i went back to work i moved her into her crib so that i could get some sleep and get her used to not being near me all the time. and you know what? she didn't even notice. and slept more. but that was 3-4 months along.
good luck - you'll figure something out. :)
Have you only tried putting him on his back? I know that is doctor recommended but my little boy slept best on his tummy. At about a week of no sleep, I was ready to try it. The first night was excruciating because I kept checking to make sure he was breathing but after that we were both sleeping better. He does need to be able to lift his head. Just a suggestion. Take it or leave it.
you're not doomed to this forever. Read Dr. Karp's "The Happiest Baby On The Block;" he's in Fourth Trimester snuggle stage. I second the above on swaddling, sling [on someone else while YOU nap], car seat, and bouncy seat.
I also had a lot of luck with a hair dryer for noise & warmth and the swing to keep him upright and moving. At this age, it doesn't matter what you need to do to get him to sleep, because he'll outgrow this stage. So don't worry that you're setting yourself up for danger down the road right now, just keep trying things a few times to see what works. By the time he's three months old it'll be completely different.
Good luck - i'm rooting for you.
UhOh I went through this same thing with Kaylie, her being my first I didn't want to put her down and then when I had to just to get things done it was too late she was done spoiled from sleeping on my chest. Its a bad habit for a parent to do this but they are so dam cute how can we not. lol I didn't do that as much with the boy, not because I don't love him as much but because you learn from past mistakes so he's pretty good about sleeping in his own bed now. Kaylie still comes in my room sometimes. Ugh.
okay, maybe i am not the best one to give you advice ---
---since i am still rocking (in a rocking chair) my nearly 3 year old to sleep for naps -- then usually lying with him on the bed, with him LYING ON MY CHEST until he is dead asleep, then doing a sideways dump onto our bed?
And yet, I gave up on the AP thing because it just wasn't working for me-- he just goes right to sleep in a crib at night.
Anyhow, my thought is that you should nurse your baby to sleep on a mattress on the floor (or a trundle), but on your side, and then get up and move back to your bed, so that the baby remains undisturbed. Also try a bouncer, swing or swing for variation at naptime. Also they have those middle of bed cosleepers, which prevents you from rolling on them , but might not prove useful.
I knew someone with a similar problem, and she had one of those sound machines, that made the sound of a heartbeat, and it really helped her child fall asleep (though I think her child was older)
My little guy was the same way and he eventually changed. I just kept waiting until he was sound asleep and tried putting him in his crib. I also tried to get him to nap in his crib.
Thr truth is that nothing you do now will become a permanent habit, so it will be ok!
Cara, I have to go with the swing thing. Thats where Gianna took her naps during the day. Do you have one? You can borrow ours since she's too big now:0) Hailee slept in bed with me, but I didn't have a husband at the time. She went right into her own room no problem. We just made a big deal about it and picked out cool stuff. She was like 2 though. I tried Gianna in our bed but Aaron sleeps to heavy and scared me a few times. I just kept trying to put her to sleep in the bassinet. After I fed her I'd lay her right down. It's hard the first few months, your both adjusting. We tried a bunch of stuff, I brought the swing in our room, anything to get sleep. You'll find a solution, don't fret. :0) Oh, I did lots and lots of praying too it helped:0)
My back is trashed after 11 ear infections in Faith's first year - the only place she would sleep was on my chest.. Now I try to pull her on after she's asleep and she gets mad. So I guess she outgrew it before I did.
OK here is what I did. J hated to be swaddled. It worked for the first few weeks but by the time she was 3 weeks to a month old she couldn't stand it. J co-sleeps now but started that when she was about 11 months old when she got sick. I had a child that hated to sleep on her back. She would not due it and was up all the time. One day when I was out my husband laid her down on her tummy for a nap. She never turned back and slept soooo well on her stomach. Now I am the 1st one to admit it scared the shit out of me. But she slept so much better that way! She still sleeps on her tummy everynight!
I forgot to add that music also helped both my girls! Baby Einstein's mixed music box. I'll get it for you.If you would like:0)
I highly recommend you check out the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth, MD. We discovered this book when our first daughter was 7 months old and still not sleeping through the night or taking regular naps. We had her sleep trained in less than 2 weeks. She's now 2 and still goes to bed without a fight for naps and bedtime (sleeps 12 hours and night and takes 2 two hour naps per day). We're using the same method with our 3 month old now. It's been about 4 days now and she's developed a regular pattern of 3 one to two hour naps per day, and she sleeps for an 8-hour stretch at night. We just moved her out of the bassinet and into her crib in her room this week and have our bedroom all to ourselves again. This book is a godsend. The method involves having to listen to your baby cry for a bit in the beginning while they're learning, but if you tough it out for just a few days I'll promise you'll be happy you did, for years to come. The most important thing for him right now is good, solid, uninterrupted sleep, so it's well worth a shot. As long as you're consistent, there's no reason it shouldn't work. Good luck!
i remember well being so tired and so frustrated and feeling like owen would never sleep for more than 1.5 hours at a stretch. it got better but very gradually. in fact, he still sleeps in the bed with me (not my ideal, by the way). as a newborn, owen seemed to sleep best in a car seat--i think the upright position was better for his spitting up, as well. good luck!! maybe you could invite a family member to come over and clean up your house, do some dishes, and laundry; that's what they are there for.
Thanks everyone, you rock w/the advice. Now I just have to try it all.
take this advice with a grain of salt, as i'm not even a mom...but my step-sister has a 2-month-old and she got a dvd called "the happiest baby" (i think it's what mb recommended above). there are 5 steps in the dvd that help soothe babies when they cry. the doctor theorizes that the 1st 3 months of a babies life they are still basically fetuses that have a calming reflex. the trick is to "turn on" that reflex. one step is swaddling, which lots of people have mentioned. my s.sister says it works for her baby because he no longer wakes himself up from moving his arms around.
also, try WHITE NOISE (also in the dvd). she turns a radio on to "in-between stations" or the baby monitor so it has static and puts it on quite loud in the room. she says it works like magic.
finally, the video talks about holding the baby on his side and softly jiggling his head/body. this mimics the movement in the womb and when i held her baby this way, he stopped crying every time (except when he was hungry).
i really hope some of this helps. i swear after i saw this dvd a couple of weeks ago, (and seeing how the steps worked for her baby boy) i said every new mom needs to be handed this video before leaving the hospital!
good luck, mama c-ta!
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