A new day

I decided that with every post I need to start off by saying which personality is writing today. Is it the tired, cranky, hungry, beaten down, gloom & doom me or is it the well-rested, turkey-aint-so-bad, silver lining me? It seems they alternate days, I think you can guess who wrote yesterday but today I'm all about the silver lining. So just plan on Monday, Wednesday & Friday of this week to be all about the gloom. If you want to remain in a happy mood, only read Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.

Since today is a good day I'm saying forget formula, we can do this! Sometimes my pessimism overshadows the progress we ARE making.

The Good:

• 4th day with no blood visible to the human eye
• Poop actually looks pretty normal today - not ideal but not freaky "did this actually come out of him?"
• Most were mucus free
• His red ring looks a tad better
• He IS happy every day - Not always all day but most of it.
• He does NOT seem like he's in pain or uncomfortable anymore - The last couple days he'd wake up straining but it was because of a burp. He's impossible to burp to begin with but nursing laying down and falling asleep like that seems to make it a little worse.
• Our brief stint with reflux seems to have subsided
• He is growing and hitting his milestones - I can officially check off rolling over from back to stomach. Before it seemed almost accidental and he couldn't get his arm from underneath him without help. But yesterday I had him on his back and came back into the room and he was in push up position. He's done it several times since. He still isn't a fan of rolling over from stomach onto his back. He does it but not frequently. Plus he's a sitting up fool, put him on his back he's non-stop crunching those abs desperately trying to get up on his own.

The Bad:

• Poops aren't ideal like previously said - I'm sure the mucuos he's swallowing from his nose is contributing
• The fact his red ring worsened - which could be a result of the vapor bath I gave him for his congestion, I'm sure that isn't the most gentle on a sensitive bum.
• His poor (meaning GOD AWFUL "please just kill me") sleeping - which I was reminded that he is working on some major milestones right now which is known to disrupt sleep. Plus he has a cold.

So you see the good outweighs the bad. And the bad I can't exactly blame specifically on allergies as with babies it could be a result of anything. I have to remember "during the healing the bad will come and go, it takes TIME." Must remember that. Repeat, must remember that.

We'll keep on keepin' on with the breastfeeding as long as we aren't regressing and as long as his well-being isn't in jeopardy. I just want to be clear that while I don't think formula is evil, I can't ever recommend it over breastmilk with good conscious unless there are EXTREME situations that can't be overcome. But again, I don't think it's evil, I don't think you are a bad parent if you choose formula and I don't think anyone should feel guilty if they are unable to breastfeed. I know, totally mixed signals there but that's me. A walking contradiction. I know almost first hand the guilt that a mother can feel (plus the "what is wrong with me, why aren't I good enough for my baby" feelings) if they HAVE to go to formula when they don't want to. It's just not right to feel that way although knowing that didn't stop me from feeling that guilt all too much. But I also want people to know my stance on the issue and that me going to formula, if it ends up that way, is going against a lot of my beliefs. (Stepping off soapbox.) Hope I didn't alienate too many of you, not my intention just gotta be the real me which isn't always a good thing.

Well enough about that. Yesterday we stayed indoors most of the day so J could get over his cold. The only time we ventured out was to go to Wal-Mart to get the allergen-free fever reducer. His cold was incentive to get it, I'd hate for him to suddenly have a fever skyrocket and not having anything safe to give him. So we took him out in his snotty pajamas, I went out in the top half of my pajamas and pants that might as well be pajamas, mascara under my eyes and my hair exactly how it was when I woke up. Bryan was the only one who looked decent, almost overdressed compared to us which says a lot since he was just in jeans. We looked a mess but we were just going to Wal-Mart for crying out loud and sadly fit right in. Which by the way I hate giving them my support but they happened to be the only place around here to carry what we needed. They trapped me into giving them Bryan's hard earned money. Damn that Sam!

Do or did any of you have one of the jumping things for your babies? Like a doorway jumper or a floor version? I was thinking of getting J the Jumparoo for Christmas, I'm too scared he'll bring the house down with a doorway version. But the yoga teacher was explaining why there is much debate over them. Ignore this if you already knew, but apparently one of the muscles (can't remember which now) has to extend as they grow which is why they start off all tippy-toed. By using the jumpers you are messing with the natural progression by either forcing their feet flat on the ground, repeatedly or it could prevent them from learning to put their feet flat on the ground not allowing that muscle to extend and may end up walking on their toes for quite some time. Kids, nothing but concern ain't they? You can't even buy a toy without worrying if you are going to ruin them for life. This is why I stick to clothes.