Month 4

I haven't figured it out yet, either you are trying to put me in my grave early or you are trying to ensure your "only child" status will remain forever. The latter would make your father very happy. You thought if you put me through a grueling 20 weeks in pregnancy, a full day of vomiting in labor and a difficult delivery I wouldn't want to put myself through that again. Once you found out I would, you needed to move on to more drastic measures to make sure no sibling would ever push you aside. WILL YOU GET BETTER ALREADY?! If you get better and ease some of my worrying so I can sleep at night, I promise you will be the one and only (as I slyly cross my fingers behind my back.)

Needless to say this month has not been dull. It has been sleepless for sure, but not dull. You just recently started to smile and giggle without me having to act like a circus freak, hopefully killing your "serious" label that has been plaguing you for which I am very guilty of causing myself. I like to think of this outward silliness as a sign you are feeling better. Don't let me down. I imagine it would be hard to be all smiles when you constantly weren't feeling well. Regardless you have always been one for some silly expressions that we are fortunate enough to catch on camera.



Oh and the talking! My goodness the talking you do, Chatty Kathy. Non-stop "uuuuh, uuuuh, uuuuuh, uuuuuh, uh, uuuh, uuuuh, uh, uuuuuuh" (continue this pattern for another 10 minutes). Your father is right though, we can listen to it all day long. But this fake cough thing you got going on, it's just too funny. The look that came over your face the first time you did that as you tried to figure out if it came from you and if it did, how do you do it again. Well you figured it out. That's my warning at 5am that either you are brought back into bed with us or else you're up for the day. I always take the former.

You are just so active now; I'm starting to wonder how I will be able to keep up with you when you can actually GET AROUND. On your own. You kick your strong little legs like crazy; I might even say its borderline thrashing. This allows you to see how much water you can take OUT of the tub faster than I can refill it. You bat and you swat at all of your toys or anything within reach. There isn't anything you don't put in your mouth, except for a bottle (yes, we're still not done with that yet!) I think your favorite plaything is now your very own hands. You love to hold them in front of your face turning them over and all around to see every angle. You like to watch your right hand intertwine with your left. Most of all, you love to shove the entire thing into your mouth. As if that wasn't too much, you see if you can stuff your other hand in there as well. Sometimes even while nursing.



The other thing your hands are really good at now is ripping chunks of my hair out in the same spot at the nape of my neck. Sometimes I see it coming and can dodge and weave out of your grasp but other times you manage to grab hold as if your life was depending on how hard you can pull and how much hair you actually remove from my head. I'm not the only one lucky enough to experience this, hair is even optional. With your dad you just like to grab onto his flesh in the same spot which looks even more painful.

You almost, almost can roll over from your back onto your stomach. You have done it sort of. It started off as comforting mattress sucking but has developed as you realized there is actually a benefit to you being able to turn over by yourself.



For some reason you manage to do it only when you are asleep on your back. This must be another test, to see how well I can handle walking into a room to see my baby face down and how long it takes me to rush and flip you over as I check for signs of life. Yeah, not so funny kid. All day you do your little crunches, desperately trying to sit up on your own. I can see the frustration you have with a mind that wants to go, go, go and a body that just can't keep up. But last night, with the help of your father you were pulled into the sitting position and left to fend for yourself. And you did it. You figured out if you use your arms you won't topple over. You sat like this all by yourself forever.



One of your favorite pastimes is watching the ever so popular Baby Einstein movies. As much as I hate to have you watching TV (there is plenty of time for that later in life, just ask your father) the joy that comes over your face when you see the rooster puppet, is just too precious for me to deny you of that pleasure. You are mesmerized by it and every now and then you let out a giggle and look at us to see if we thought the same part you've seen 100 times was funny. Little do you know we can't take our eyes off of you to watch the movie.

We finished our yoga class which you seemed to enjoy. Even at home when I do "Baby Planet" or "Womb Wings" you give me the same big grin.



And today we will be captured forever during one of our most bonding moments. We will be in a children's book about breastfeeding that will be published and something we can always cherish.

I've never seen you evolve so much as I have this past month. We still have some hurdles to overcome but there is nothing I won't endure for you and nothing we can't overcome. You are not "serious" or "sick" or "enter any other label here" but you are all J. 4 months of pure perfection.



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