Wednesday, November 02, 2005

I see how it is

The other night we made the painful decision to transition J back into his co-sleeper instead of our bed. Yes it is only 3 inches away from me but it's still not the same as being tummy to tummy with him, feeling his little baby breath on my face, feeling his little hand reach out in the middle the night to make sure we're still there. This was a tough choice.

The only reason we decided to do this was because he wasn't sleeping that well and I don't sleep well. I thought my tossing and turning could be keeping him awake, not to mention when I can't sleep I caress him and kiss him constantly. I figured it might be better for him if he wasn't right next to me. I assumed this would be a slow and trying process since he was one to love sleeping next to me or on my chest and at times HAD to sleep on my chest. Imagine my surprise when I laid him in his co-sleeper the first night and he went right to sleep. He couldn't care less! What the hell J, I thought we had some kind of bond here! I mean it wasn't like he never slept alone anyway, I would put him to bed in our bed for a few hours before we'd come up. So I know he was capable of sleeping by himself but I thought he'd STILL want us to curl up next to him when we came to bed. Nope. I even thought that once he woke up for his first feeding he wouldn't want to go back into the co-sleeper. Fooled me, again he went right back to sleep.

Wow, what a tough transition this was. Looks like I'm the only one having a hard time with it. Bryan asked the other night when we'd move him to his crib and I snapped "NEVER!" Fortunately Bryan said he doesn't want him out of our room either. Good thing since he doesn't have a choice. But I'm sure if we did J would sleep just as well as he does with us.

The worst part about this is neither of us are sleeping any better. But since he's content in there I might as well let it be. So now when I'm lying there awake I look over the edge into the co-sleeper. I stare at him waiting for any kind of stir hoping he won't be able to settle himself back down. But he usually can. They grow up so fast don't they, next thing you know they don't need us anymore!

I had a feeling his sleeping issues were because of his food allergies but I wanted to make sure it wasn't his sleeping arrangment too. Frequent nightwakings is a common sign of FA's. On the Parents of Food Allergic Kids (POFAK) forum they have a thread about "You know you are a POFAK when..." one of them said "..when your kid doesn't sleep through the night until he's 10 years old." Yipee, is that what I have to look forward to? I guess that is what death is for, catching up on all the missing sleep. So I'm chalking up his poor sleeping to that. Hopefully when we get it all straightened out it'll be better, or I'll have to come up with another excuse!

But lately I've had a teeny tiny glimmer of hope. A very tiny glimmer. There isn't blood in his stool daily anymore! This is a big step. It's still green and mucousy and at times very watery but I feel like SOMETHING is improving. I was also going to say he was sleeping a tad better as he had a 5 hour stretch the other night. And has been averaging 3-4 hours for his initial stretch without waking up 30 minutes after we put him to bed either. But it all goes downhill the rest of the night. And last night after sleeping 4 hours beautifully he woke up every 1 1/2 hour. Every time he woke up he was straining but not getting anything out but very little gas. I would nurse him and he'd fall asleep. I was trying to keep him awake to get a good feeding in hoping it would move things along for him but he'd fall asleep and be back up another hour later, same deal. Finally at 4am I sat up with him for 30 minutes helping him get it out by holding him in a frog position and putting counter-pressure on his belly. He would strain and push and make silly faces. And finally after 30 minutes he got some out. Then we had a repeat at 7am. So 1 step forward, 2 steps back and I no longer even get to cuddle with him at night.


Blogger Nerd Girl said...

LOL @ Js independent sleeping and your reaction! I went through the same thing when I "weaned" Lovegirl. I thought she'd fuss and cry and paw at my chest and just demand to be nursed. Imagine my horror when she really, truly, didn't give damn. All she wanted was milk - the milk source was of no concern. I even flashed her my goods a couple of times thinking (hoping?) she'd have some sort of reaction and whine or whimper to be nursed. Nothing. I'm beginning to suspect that we need to baby them way more than they need to be babied! :)

3:32 PM  
Blogger Veronica said...

lol this was way too funny. I co sleeped with my first son untill he was 3. I'm a single parent to no problems there. I just loved how he used to stick up his little butt aginst my belly..I just didnt have a heart to let him sleep in his crib or in an another room. I still dont he still sleep in my room. Now with this new little on coming I want to co sleep as well but we'll see how #1 takes it.

BTW J looks to darn adorable in his puppy costume...the boy is getting so handsome I just want to take him home..can I have him?

4:59 PM  
Blogger dakotablueeyes said...

wow he could care less. I was the same with my daughter and it took forever to get her to sleep in her bed. Still at 6 she sneaks into our bed in the night sometimes.

5:38 PM  
Blogger KELLI BELLY said...

Your ears must have been burning because I was just thinking about you and up popped a comment on my blog from you. I was lucky I didn't have a husband when I had Hailee. It was the best sleeping with her. I felt the same way. I started putting her in her crib like smack against my bed when she was like 9 months. She'd wake up and I'd put her right next to me. We slept like that until I got married and moved into the condo with Aaron. She transitioned so well into a room of her own I was almost sad. We just made a big deal of it and she loved it. I still let her sleep with me when Aaron falls asleep on the couch. I'm like, YES! Gianna on the other hand had a hard time going in her room and now she's so use to it she can't sleep if I try to bring her in to cuddle with us:0( She wants nothing to do with sleeping in our bed. They are both so different. Wow, sorry for this being so long!

8:40 PM  
Blogger The Mom said...

Aww, I know it's hard. It was very hard to put Em and Ava in their beds after sleeping with us for a few months, but it's got to happen eventually I guess. Better while they're young and before they can whine "But mommy why can't I sleep with you anymore" and break your heart even more! It really is harder habit to break once they're older. I know it's really hard right now, but it'll get easier. You'll both get a more peaceful rest, and that's so important. And if you're like me, you never stop wishing they stir so you have an excuse to go snuggle!

11:03 PM  
Anonymous supa said...

Even though Owen's been sick this week, it's been great rocking him to sleep. Usually he just conks out in his own crib by himself. A champion self-soother, I guess I should be happy -- but i just want to cuddle him.

We put him in his own room at about 4 or 5 months old, leaving the doors open so we could hear him. All three of us have slept much better, although I still have trouble falling asleep.

Sometimes they need a little space, and if it helps them sleep, then so be it. Personally ... i miss the cuddles.

11:25 PM  
Blogger Rachael said...

We never really co-slept all that much with Gavin. But I will tel lyou moving him into a crib was ROUGH! My goodness I was a wreck for days waking up 10x a night to check him. So I know it's hard.
I think it's so funny that you say you'll never move him out of your room LOL. I look at Gavin now and I am like, no way could he sleep in our room LOL. He's just so big HA!

2:12 AM  
Blogger Anne said...

aw, i think in the longrun you will all be happier for moving him to his own sleep area gradually. Emma still sleeps next to me and Lily joins us at some point every night and let me be honest, Shan and I don't get a very restful sleep in the queen bed with these urchins. We love them but very soon Emma will have to get used to sleeping in her own bed. At least you are doing it earlier than us!

10:16 AM  
Blogger mamaloo said...

weird, I don't think my comment "stuck"

Have you ever tried tummy massages to stimulate J's bowel?

Kieran was a once a week pooper and sometimes he went through some horrendous gassy times. I would give him a tummy massage and within an hour he would have a massive, easy movement.

If you want more info, let me know.

10:49 AM  
Blogger Candice said...

Cole still sleeps in our room and gets up in the middle of the night to get in our bed. ANd jordan's usually beat him there. ANd there is NO sleeping on my part, but good thing everyone else sleeps so fitfully on top of mom. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

12:04 PM  

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