Sunday, August 14, 2005

Ladies and Gents, we have a smile

It's true! A full-fledge, albeit very fleeting, smile from the lil' man. I've seen plenty of the smiles while he was off in dream land but this time we were playing with banana man when we got an alert little smirk. B and I both looked at each other and both said "was that a smile??" We haven't seen it since but damn if it wasn't one! It actually happened 2 days ago but we've been so busy celebrating I haven't had a chance to post about it.

J is going through a rough little patch, mainly every evening from 6-10 pm with some stretches in the day. I hated to call him "fussy" because I never felt like he was fussy, I felt like he needed something and he knew what it was but we couldn't figure it out. It led to some stressful moments none the less and 2 parents feeling very helpless. It was getting to the point where I was afraid to venture out of the house with him incase we had an episode because I have yet to figure out how to soothe him when it happens. And strangers can be so helpful, we had a breakdown in Target when a stranger said "He doesn't sound happy" but she didn't say it in a way that was helpful or cute, it was said in a kind of bitchy tone like I'm either the cause or not attempting to alleviate it. Neither were the case. Thanks stranger bitch.

I was wondering when you know if your kid is "one of those." You know the ones you can't take to a restaurant, or travel with or anything like that. I was a terror when I was a baby, my dad spent every dinner out with me in the car. But one thing I did was always slept the whole time in the car. But J had about a 20 minute max in a car before he was clearly ready to get out. We'd like to visit some out of state relatives but I was not going to do it anytime soon if he'd be screaming the whole time. But last night we were able to calm him, at first we thought it was the base in the Crystal Method playing but then we realized he liked having the windows down. If we came to a stop he'd pick right back up but once we got the wind going again he was a content little pea. Hopefully it wasn't a fluke and we're actually on to something. I'm still not ready to attempt a 2+ hour car ride though!

We picked up a book yesterday by Dr. Sears called The Fussy Baby, how to soothe the "high-need" baby or something like that and we tried a few of the tricks and either it was coincidence or they seemed to help last night. One thing I liked about the book (I didn't get far yet) was that it was pointing out how the baby isn't "demanding" or "fussy" or "stubborn" or all these other terms people like to put on a baby who's trying to express themselves. I hate that and I was guilty of it myself. He's obviously trying to tell us something and just can't. It doesn't make him all those bad things. And to clarify, he isn't a nightmare. It's just a little moaning but he's not colicky, he's not totally unsoothable so I didn't even feel he'd qualify for the "fussy high-need" book, he's not extreme by any means. But the book was pointing out some changes we need to make with our parenting but more importantly just helped with understanding him a little better which in turn will help us meet his needs better. I think we'll get through this, not that I thought it was a perment situation anyway.

We took him to a friends baby shower yesterday and he was a little angel in the sling. He had his moments but very brief and now that I think about it, he wasn't in the sling at those times. Oh my god, you know what we did? Our friend's shower was at her mom's where we've never been before. Well the directions said to look for the pink balloons. We're just about there when we see pink balloons. We saw a Yukon in the driveway, Wendy's car and a 4-Runner, our other friends car so we walked up to the door and knocked. No answer but we could hear a bunch of people. So we walk in and there is a group of people in the kitchen (mainly teens in their bathing suits) and we're like "Hi!!" and they responded. Then there was an akward moment and I said all cheery "we're in the right place right?"
Them: "I uh think so"
Me: "W-W-Wendy's right?"
Them: "There is no Wendy here."

SHIT. We just walked into some random people's house when we wanted the next house up, ALSO having a party, ALSO with balloons, ALSO with a Yukon. B and I felt like such asses (Bryan probably wanted to stay there with the bikini clad teens). Thankfully J is too young to be embarrased of his stupid folks.


Blogger moi said...

LOL about the wrong party! How funny.

The smiles are the best! you'll get them more and more now, I love em;) However I have still only managed to ever catch ONE on camera. So good luck with that.

I have no idea how to tell if a baby is one of 'those' babies but I would assume it'll make itself apparent in time if so;)

4:50 PM  
Anonymous Mel W. said...

Don't worry about J's fussy periods... it's totally normal at his age. If you're not yet reading "What to expect the first year", I highly recommend it. It will let you know what to expect (what's normal) each month, and you'll also learn that at around 6 weeks or so babies tend to get fussy for periods of time, usually in the evening. It's just their bodies going through some of the many changes they'll go through. My Ava started like clockwork right at 6 weeks old, and always when I was trying to make dinner. It got better after a few weeks, and now that she's in her sleep pattern she's actually in bed for the night by the time I'm ready to make dinner for the rest of us (on the sleeping, I recommended "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth... it's a godsend!). Know you're not doing anything wrong, and that you have a perfectly normal little boy. Good luck!

9:12 PM  
Blogger KELLI BELLY said...

Ha Ha! Thats like the time when I went to your neighbors house instead of yours! It's not like I hadn't gone to your house everyday! I thought it was weirde that these two complete strangers opened the door. I looked next door and there you were "Kelli, What are you doing?"

9:16 PM  
Blogger Andrea said...

The "fussy" period - totally normal!
Ryan went through it from 6 weeks to about 10 weeks (maybe 11) and then was fine. It just involved lots of walking with him in the carrier around and around and around the house (it was winter and COLD out).
Oh, and YAY! on the smile - so fun :)

7:16 AM  
Blogger Brandi said...

I call that the "witching hour" J was the same way. I was always told that it has something do with food being cooked in the house. The smell of food/dinner replaces the normal smell of mommy and makes the little ones feel very unconfortable.
I remember walking back and forth with J for hours when she would do that. My husband came up with a ton of cute little songs to sing when he was walking back and forth with stuff I tell you :)

9:49 AM  
Anonymous Carol said...

I love Dr. Sears! Listen to his words of wisdom -- he won't steer you wrong. Plus, the things he says just make sense, don't they? ;)

And not that you need to hear it again but yes, all babies have a fussy period. And a lot of times they'll want to stay latched on to your breast constantly.

9:15 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Flinger said...

YEY for smiles and you CRACK me up, girl. The wrong party? That is *so* something we'd do!

1:44 PM  

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