Sunday, March 13, 2005

Almost our 1yr anniversary and I have a new love...

Today has been a really rough day for my husband and I. In approximately 1 month we will be celebrating our 1 year wedding anniversary yet today I had to tell him something I never anticipated. He’s been everything to me over the last 5 ½ years. My best friend, my confidant, my security blanket, my endless supporter, my husband and the father to our child-in-progress. He’s been everything to me and more. I truly believe he will always be my soul mate and ‘Ribbie” (a term we coined during our mandatory marriage Pre-Cana class). They say God created woman by using the rib of man. I have been made from Bryan’s rib; we are of the same mold. We are different enough so it doesn’t feel I am married to myself yet identical in all the important ways. But today, today is just a sad day in our almost seemingly perfect love life. After falling in love with him more and more every day I have succumb to the fact that there is a new love in my life. And at this point in time, my new love has brought me greater satisfaction and a feeling of serenity I have never felt before. It was time I broke it to Bryan no matter how painful it would be for the both of us. I am in love with…..Tucks Medicated Pads. That’s right, TUCKS! You see, I am a tad over 5 ½ months pregnant and with pregnancy comes more discomfort than you ever heard or read about. I’m sorry to say that hemorrhoids are one of the most unbearable side effects that pregnancy has on the human body. Oh I tried to suffer through them, living in denial. I am 27 and at times can be pretty damn hot. Someone like me does not get hemorrhoids yet there was no denying that some alien life form had replaced my normally inoffensive rectum with a burning ring of fire. I broke down one day and ran, I mean ran to Safeway to purchase some Tucks and Preparation- H cream, expecting them not to work (b/c at this point I was still not admitting this was the cause). I soaked my little hiney hole in a nice bath, made sure it was clean enough to eat off of and went for the Preparation-H cream. I waited, and waited and nothing. See! It’s NOT hemorrhoids. I then went for the Tucks, rather pessimistic at this point. How could a little wipe work better than a soothing salve? I gave it a shot and it was like instant euphoria. Do you remember the commercial where they put the lit match out w/the pad never really thinking, or imagining just what it could feel like? Well it feels like that and that fucking Tucks put my match out so quickly I am now hopelessly in love with a medicated pad.


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